Video calls with grandparents: easy set-up and practice

Which app suits your family’s devices?

The key decision comes before the first tap: pick an app that runs on every device involved and that someone already uses. Two or three apps side by side confuse more than they help. The grandparents then learn just one route.

In FaceTime on the web, SharePlay and screen sharing are not available, according to Apple. For sound and pictures, the link is enough.

How do you set up the call in as few steps as possible?

Set it up during a visit, on the grandparents’ device and together with them. Save the key people with full name and a clear photo, so it is obvious who is calling. Let the grandparents tap; you show and explain.

Tip: Put the chosen app in a fixed, easy-to-reach spot on the grandparents’ home screen and do not move it afterwards.

How do you practise the first call together?

Plan several short rounds rather than one long lesson, and repeat the same moves each time: answer, adjust the volume, look into the camera, hang up.

A practice plan in four rounds

1. During the visit, at the same table: you call from your own phone, the grandparents answer and hang up. Then they call you.
2. During the visit, from room to room: you call from another room, so everyone sees and hears what a real call is like.
3. In the first week at home: an agreed call at a fixed time, such as Sunday at five. The grandparents only answer.
4. After two or three weeks: the grandparents start the call themselves, with the paper guide next to them.

If something goes wrong, switch calmly to the ordinary phone and check volume and internet connection together before changing settings. Every mistake shows which step belongs on the paper guide.

For preparing the visit itself, see Preparing a session of digital help.

What goes on the paper guide?

The paper guide stands in for your voice. Write it together, in the grandparents’ words and in large print. One page is enough.

• The app’s name, exactly as it appears under the icon on the home screen
• Answering: which button, perhaps with a small sketch or a printed screenshot
• Calling: the two to four steps from this guide, in your own words
• Hanging up and volume: where the buttons are
• Regular call times, such as “Sunday, 5 pm: Max”
• Plan B: the phone number of someone who can help if it does not work

Passwords, device passcodes and verification codes do not belong on the guide; the grandparents type such details in themselves. For a paper list of contacts, see A paper contact card for when your phone is not at hand.

Tip: Keep the guide where the calls happen, for example next to the teapot. A clear plastic sleeve protects it from spills.

Does a video call cost anything, including abroad?

Apple says FaceTime works over Wi-Fi or mobile data, and data rates may apply. WhatsApp says voice calls use the phone’s internet connection rather than the minutes in your plan; data charges may apply here too. At home, Wi-Fi is therefore the simplest option.

With a mobile contract from an EU country, “roam like at home” applies when you travel: calls, texts and data, including video streaming, cost the same in other EU countries, Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway, Moldova and Ukraine as at home. Operators may limit data used at domestic prices, and by default roaming stops once extra charges reach €50.

Switzerland is not in the EU. According to OFCOM, the Swiss communications office, the EU rules cover EU/EEA citizens travelling in EU/EEA countries, and no international agreement currently allows retail roaming prices to be regulated. Swiss operators must bill roaming by the second or kilobyte, and a cost limit is set in the contract. Near the border, OFCOM advises switching off roaming in the settings. More in EU roaming rules: where it stays free and where it gets costly.

How do you keep the calls familiar and safe?

Agree on a simple rule: the grandparents only answer calls from names saved in their contacts. Unknown calls can ring out.

If someone on a call asks for money, codes or an urgent transfer, hang up and call back on the saved number, even if the voice or face seems familiar. Why this matters is explained in A familiar voice on the phone: why calling back still matters.

WhatsApp states that its calls are always end-to-end encrypted. With a FaceTime link, the person who started the call decides who gets in. Share such links within the family only.

Where can grandparents get help in their country?

Not every family can visit often. Local services let older people try out devices at their own pace.

An example: Peter in Dublin and his family in Vienna

Fictional example: Peter, 81, lives in Dublin and has an iPad. His daughter Anna lives in Vienna and uses an iPhone; her son Max, 14, has an Android phone. During a visit, Anna turns on FaceTime on Peter’s iPad and saves herself and Max in his contacts with photos.

At the living room table, Anna calls from the hallway, Peter answers, waves and hangs up. On the third try, he calls her himself. Together they write the paper guide in Peter’s words: “1. Open FaceTime. 2. Tap Anna. 3. Tap the FaceTime button.” It has lived next to the teapot ever since.

For the Sunday call, Anna creates a FaceTime link and lets Max in from his browser. On the first Sunday Peter hears nothing: the volume is down. He rings Anna on the landline, finds the buttons with her and adds a line to the guide. On a school trip to Switzerland, Max calls over the hostel’s Wi-Fi, as Switzerland is outside the EU roaming rules.