An everyday example
Fictional example: Niamh lives in Cork. Her son Liam, 11, will take the bus to school alone from September, and his hurling club arranges training in a group chat.
Niamh does not hand over her old phone at once. First she erases it (see passing on an old phone) and creates a child account for Liam in her family group. Together they write down a few rules: the phone charges in the kitchen overnight, and new apps are chosen together. After four weeks they review them.
What is the right age for a first smartphone?
Specialist bodies name no single age. The Swiss platform Jugend und Medien stresses that age or school year alone do not decide: maturity, media experience and the actual need matter more. Austria's Saferinternet.at adds that the more a device can do, the more experience and sense of responsibility a child needs.
In France, the “Enfants et écrans” report of April 2024 strongly advises against giving a child an internet-connected smartphone before 13 and suggests a phone without internet access from 11. In Germany, an expert commission proposed a statutory minimum age of 13 for social media on 24 June 2026. Both are recommendations, not law.
For social networks, see minimum ages for social media.
Which questions should you settle before buying?
Jugend und Medien and the Swiss organisation Pro Juventute suggest that families answer these questions first:
- What does our child really need a smartphone for?
- What matters to us as a family?
- What must our child be able to do, and what do we parents need to know?
- How will we support them afterwards?
- Who pays for the device, the plan and top-ups?
It need not be a smartphone straight away, says Saferinternet.at. The purpose suggests the starting point:
| Purpose | What is often enough | What to check |
|---|---|---|
| Being reachable on the way to school | A basic pay-as-you-go phone for calls | Save key contacts |
| Class or club chat | Smartphone with a messaging app | Check the service's minimum age |
| Sharing location | Smartwatch or tracker | Your child knows who can see their location |
| Photos, music, games | Camera, MP3 player or a family tablet | Follow PEGI age ratings |
Which rules should you put in writing?
Saferinternet.at recommends discussing rules together, writing them down and having every family member sign them, including what happens if they are broken. For rules to work, it says, you need good communication and trust. Spain's INCIBE offers family agreement templates, including one for mobile phones.
- Times and places: breaks at meals, during homework and overnight.
- Apps: new ones only after talking about them.
- Costs: top-ups, in-app purchases and use abroad.
- Data and photos: no real name as a username, no address in profiles, no photos of others without their consent.
- Contacts: how to handle requests from strangers.
- Problems: your child can always come to you without losing the phone on the spot.
Set a date to review the rules together.
Tip: Stick to the screen-free times yourself. Saferinternet.at calls adults' example decisive.
How do you set up the phone before handing it over?
Set up the device before your child uses it. On an iPhone, you create a child account in your family group and manage settings from your own iPhone. According to Apple, Ask to Buy and Ask to Browse are on by default for children under 13, and Limit Adult Websites for children under 18.
iPhone (iOS 27): on your own iPhone
- Settings › Family › [your child's name] › Apps & Websites › Restrictions › Ask to Buy: switch on Require Purchase Approval.
- Settings › Family › [your child's name] › Screen Time Schedule: turn on Schedule, for example for the night.
- Settings › Family › [your child's name] › Allowed Contacts › During Screen Time: choose who your child can contact.
- Settings › Family › [your child's name] › Content & Privacy Restrictions › Content Restrictions: choose age ratings.
Menu path as given in the manufacturer’s help; it may differ by device and version: support.apple.com
Android: in the Family Link app on your phone
- Open the Family Link app and select your child at the top left.
- At the bottom left, tap Screen time › Time limits.
- Turn on Daily limit, tap Weekly schedule and enter the maximum screen time for each day.
Menu path as given in the manufacturer’s help; it may differ by device and version: support.google.com
According to Google, these limits work on Android 7 and up. It also helps to turn off in-app purchases, avoid linking bank details to your child's accounts and use two-factor authentication where possible. Check what each app can access with reviewing app permissions.
Where can parents get help in each country?
The EU's Better Internet for Kids portal lists national Safer Internet Centres for all 27 EU countries; their services include helplines. Selected contacts:
| Country | Where parents find help | Worth knowing |
|---|---|---|
| Germany | klicksafe, with the checklist “Ist mein Kind fit für ein eigenes Smartphone?” | An expert commission proposed a statutory minimum age of 13 for social media (24 June 2026); a recommendation so far |
| Austria | Saferinternet.at, with guides on family rules for internet and phones | Nationwide phone ban at school up to year 8 since 1 May 2025, smartwatches included |
| Switzerland (not in the EU) | Jugend und Medien and Pro Juventute | Joint checklist for the first smartphone, also in plain language (in German) |
| France | jeprotegemonenfant.gouv.fr | Age guidance from the 2024 report in the child health record since January 2025 |
| Italy | Polizia Postale (Commissariato di P.S. online), with advice for parents | Online reports via the site's “Segnalazioni” section |
| Spain | INCIBE · IS4K, family agreement templates | INCIBE cybersecurity helpline: 017 |
This overview does not replace individual advice. If your child is harassed or pressured online, contact a helpline or the police.
Common mistakes
- Setting up the phone after your child has started using it: limits then feel like punishment.
- Linking a payment card to the child's account instead of approving each purchase.
- Entering an older age so everything works: age-based defaults are lost.
- Writing down only bans, with no date to review them.
- Checking the phone in secret instead of explaining which settings apply.
Your checklist
The checkboxes are for your own reference. No entries are sent to us. To keep a copy, print the page or save it as a PDF using your browser menu.
Common questions
At what age should a child get their first phone?
No age fits everyone. Specialist bodies advise looking at maturity, experience and the concrete need rather than the school year. A French report from 2024 strongly advises against an internet-connected smartphone before 13 and suggests a phone without internet from 11. If unsure, a basic phone for calls can bridge the gap.
Can I check my child's phone in secret?
Saferinternet.at advises against secret phone checks and says other family members' devices are off limits. Explain openly which settings apply and what you can see in your family group or Family Link, and make clear your child can always come to you. For a specific worry, contact a helpline.
How do I avoid unexpected costs?
Require approval for purchases: according to Apple, Ask to Buy is switched on by default for children under 13. Turning off in-app purchases and not linking bank details to accounts also helps. Write down who pays for the plan and top-ups.
Sources and further information
Primary sources from public authorities, consumer organisations and providers. A source may be in another language; follow the guidance that applies to your service and where you live.
- European Commission, Better Internet for Kids: Safer Internet Centres and resourcesSource review date:
- Saferinternet.at (Austria): when is the right time for a first phone? (in German)Source review date:
- Saferinternet.at (Austria): family rules for internet and phones (in German)Source review date:
- Jugend und Medien (Switzerland): the first smartphone (in German)Source review date:
- Je protège mon enfant (France): screens and age guidance (in French)Source review date:
- INCIBE (Spain): family agreements for device use (in Spanish)Source review date:
- German Federal Ministry for Families (BMBFSFJ): expert commission recommendations (in German)Source review date:
- Polizia di Stato (Italy), Commissariato di P.S. online: advice and reports (in Italian)Source review date:
